Help. A simple word can have such a complex response. Why do some people feel a compulsive need to help? Why can some people find it so hard to ask for and accept help? Is it a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it? Why can it feel like a weakness when we are needing help?
Let’s define our terms outside of associative meaning first. Help: Verb. To make it easier or possible for (someone) to do something by offering one's services or resources.
It sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it? If I can make your life easier by an act of service and can offer, why wouldn’t I do so? If I have resources which you need and I can share, why wouldn’t I?
In any kind of trouble, disaster or struggle, a position of comfort is to “look to the helpers”. There are always people walking towards a crisis with the purpose of making life (even a little bit) easier for those who are experiencing the troubles. We need more than that though – don’t just look to the helpers to seek a better story that the stark one you are presented with. Instead, try to be one of the helpers.
We can’t stop a storm from arriving, we but we can certainly pick up a broom and help to clear up the mess it leaves behind. That part is a choice we get to make, and it is one that we can make in some way every day.
Helping others is a powerfully human thing. It provides deep and real connection fuelled by empathy and kindness. When we help others, we feel good as our sense of purpose and humanity is elevated, even if just for a moment. Don’t forget that when we allow ourselves to also be human and accept help, others feel good about that too and a necessary cycle of loving humanity continues.
You don’t have to run towards a tsunami with a bucket and an inflatable life raft; we can be the helpers every day in a thousand small but meaningful ways. Hold the door, help to carry the box, listen to someone who needs to talk, make a cup of tea, pick up the litter… the offerings are endless, and every one makes a difference.
Look at what you can do to share your “services or resources”; it all stacks up to make a better, more helpful world.
