”Connection is why we are here; it is what gives meaning and purpose to our lives” – Professor Brene Brown
Whether you have chosen to embrace it, mock it or ignore it, Valentine’s Day came and went this week with all the schmaltz and commercialism that can come with it. But while you may not think that this day has anything to do with “wellbeing”, and you may even go as far as to argue that it can be detrimental to the very concept, scratch beneath the surface of the love hearts, overpriced set-menus and roses… and you will find the pursuit of human connection which sits at the very heart of our wellbeing and happiness.
In our age of digital traffic and online connectivity, why do you imagine that we see more people experiencing feelings of isolation and loneliness than ever before? We are overcrowded, but not always connected in the real, non-virtual sense of the word. Yes, we may have hundreds of online “friends”, but it is the few special ones that we let into our lives that will recharge our batteries and give that anchoring, fulfilling feeling of the connection of friendship. Who do you want to celebrate or commiserate with? Who do you want to talk with about the funny or sad thing that happened today? Who do you want a hug from when you are feeling a little lost? They are ones to prioritise.
Science supports the belief that ‘strong social relationships support mental health, and that ties into better immune function, reduces stress and less cardiovascular activation’ (Dr Debra Umberson, Professor of Sociology at the University of Texas). But we don’t need hundreds of these relationships; in fact, it isn’t possible to have hundreds of these relationships. On the contrary, we need to nurture, and hold close the precious but appropriately few real-life friendships that matter to us most.
So, whether you are an advocate of Galentine’s Day, Palentine’s, Day, Valentine’s Day, or reject the whole concept entirely – maybe use this week as a reason to reach out to someone that matters to you and tell them why they are important.
You could try:
- Send a message to someone you haven’t seen in a while and plan to get together in person.
- Tell a friend what they bring to your life and why you are grateful for them.
- Challenge yourself to not use your phone ALL DAY for a weekend day and instead, focus on talking and connecting with the real people around you in your life.
- Choose your favourite photograph of yourself and a friend and send it to them reminding them of the memory – you will make them smile and isn’t that a lovely thing to have done.
Kindness connections: here are some beautiful, handmade origami hearts that Akaash in 7K made for every member of her form (and tutors) with a special message of connection inspired by Valentine’s Day. Each recipient was delighted to receive such a thoughtful gesture.
by Lisa Whittington, Director of Wellbeing, Values and Skills.
