Have you ever seen a toddler be asked to do or taste something that they absolutely do not want? They state an unapologetic, unequivocal “no!”, often with a shake of their head, a wriggly body and a screwed-up face just to make the point clearly.
But something changes as we grow older. We are socially conditioned to think that “yes” is the politer response and that accommodating and appeasing to the will or expectations of others is more acceptable than expressing our own needs, wants and desires with clarity.
We are conditioned to say yes, and for many reasons as women, this can be hugely problematic. Where does the voice go that thinks “no” but says “yes”? What does that harbour inside our bodies and what does it do to our state of harmony with ourselves and our wellbeing? What do we learn when the expectation of others has more force than our own internal narrative?
Sometimes, “yes” is the true answer, but make sure to check-in with yourself first to listen to your body, your brain and what you really want to say. If the answer is “no”, breathe deeply and say it with clarity and assertion. Being clear about what you want and need is very different from being rude or difficult – it is a fallacy to claim that it is.
Saying “no” is a Superpower, and we need to relearn how to say it and mean it with feeling.
