When we think or say, “what if …?” statements to ourselves we are usually associating these with some sort of negative outcome. Such as, “what if something awful happens?”, “what if I fail or “what if my task goes wrong?”
For every negative “what if” statement there will also be many positive alternative possibilities that we are not considering. If we only focus on the negative possibilities and don’t see or consider the positives, then we bring unrest into our thinking. We are promoting a distorted view of things and situations to ourselves, and essentially, we are setting ourselves up to worry or to be anxious.
I’m going to set you a challenge – the next time you say or think to yourself a negative “What if …?” statement, try to come up with 3 positive alternatives;
Here’s an example: –
Negative “What if …?”
“What if I get so nervous I forget my lines in my speech tomorrow?”
Alternative Positive “What if …?”
“What if I feel relaxed and I remember everything?”
“What if I am then able to add some extra expression into my words?”
“What if I notice someone smile at me when I start to talk and then I start to see that people are really engaged in what I am talking about?”
Think about how each “what if …?” statement/thought makes you feel? Which feels more motivating the negative or the positives? Then ask yourself which one is more realistic and likely to happen? The reality is even if you did forget a word or even a line on your speech, it’s quite unlikely that you would forget everything.
What we think and say to ourselves, how we perceive things will certainly set us up to behave in certain ways and will no doubt effect our emotional state. If we train ourselves to also consider the positives considerations, we open up new possibilities for ourselves and give ourselves more chances to grow.
